Category Archives: pay parity

FEMPOWER: How to Get Paid What You Are Worth, Part 1

When I began writing this blog, it was entitled, “How to Get Paid What You Deserve.”

However, in the many, many years of counseling women to achieve their dreams, I discovered that women (and men) always get paid what they think (albiet subconsciously) they deserve.  So our new goal is to be paid what you are actually worth–which almost invariably is significantly more that you are paid now.

Getting paid what you are worth begins on the inside, by asking yourself a few questions and allowing the answers to come to you from your subconscious.  Try not to be too judgmental.  Your brain is trying to let you know what is really going on inside.

Here are some sample questions to ask:

  • How much is my work worth?
  • Can I do the job above mine?  Above that one?
  • How is my work beneficial/profitable to the                                                     company/supervisor/owner?

Now here is a powerful tip for you when answering these questions to yourself:  If you’ve heard yourself say or think this answer before, ask again and get a different answer.  You want to think of yourself in new ways to create a new sense of worth.

American, Karen Uhlenbeck, won the 2019 Abel Prize in Mathematics, the first woman to do so.  This prize has been called, “The Nobel Prize in Math.”  In one of her many interviews, she said something that really stuck with me.  I’m paraphrasing here:  “I find nothing as boring as thinking about a problem I’ve already solved.”

The lesson I took from that–and hope you will as well–is let’s stop thinking thoughts we have already thought.  Let’s start thinking new thoughts.  So as you answer the above questions, listen for new thoughts.

It is also imperative that you keep all of this to yourself.  The reasoning behind this was made clear to me many years ago during an exchange with my late husband (he was alive at the time!).

Walter was a columnist for the Seattle Times, writing 6 columns a week–a pretty lofty accomplishment.  He would often need to create the columns in his head, then write them.  Once, early in our relationship, I asked him what he was going to write about that day.  He very seriously explained to me that he couldn’t discuss it with me.  “If I talk it out, I will lose it.  Talking dissipates energy.”  Please remember those words.  Keep your plans inside until you are ready to present them, fully developed, to the world.

As a therapist, I’ve also discovered that talking often gives you the illusion that you are accomplishing something.  Behavior is the only thing that counts, not conversation.

So back to those questions you asked yourself:  Write down the new answers you receive from your subconscious.  Expand on them consciously.  Spend some time with those answers.  Remember, you are doing this to make more money, so it’s like a job right now.  You will be rewarded for your efforts.

One more tool before we close for now.  Before you go to sleep each night, imagine your bank account with the amount of money you are worth in there.  The most powerful time for your brain to receive instructions from you is right before you go to sleep.  So stop thinking about all the things that are wrong (stop programming negativity) and start creating the life you want.

More tools to come soon to help you get the money you are worth.